24 November 2009

White dresses don't go well with my attitude problem

I snapped this at a fitting for an amaaaazing couture wedding dress designer, the fabric was made in the 1920's and was pretty heavy. I would have worn it as a formal gown rather than a wedding dress. Once they had me in the huge gowns with veils and all, I started laughing uncontrollably. The dwedding gowns were beautiful, but it just solidified my non-marrying reasoning.

AAAAAaaaand because I feel marriage is a fail..

22 November 2009


I had a few hours to kill between castings the other day, so I decided to walk around the mission district to find a place to relax, maybe get an espresso, what not. I found this awesome coffee place, great atmosphere and the people were just hanging out, then I left without making an effort to remember the name or what street is was on. After a long Google session, I found it. The Atlas Cafe, on Bryant street (coincidence?? I think not) and 20th.

It has this great outdoor patio, and thankfully SF in November it was a beautiful 68 degrees, so a little book reading and coffee was a perfect time killer. It could have also been the handsome looker who was sitting across the table from me, alone, sans hand jewelry. Although I have an odd feeling that he was a casting director for a commercial I did last year... He's still cute.

So now I'm a director.

Well, not really. I am attempting to "direct" a photoshoot, with no budget, no location, and a date set as "sometime mid-January". So really, I'm chalking together something from nothing to hopefully get some grand images of drama, beauty, intrigue, you know, the usual.
The concept is James Bond, but the old version: 1965. So the hair and style will be vintage, and even greater, the male model gets to be a chauvinistic woman lover/hater who knows that he is God's gift to humanity.
Any one have idea's about free shooting? Location, wardrobe, H/mua, etc? Anything will help, as I am working blindly.

01 November 2009

23 October 2009


My friend has this awesome skincare company, and she asked me to help her out by sittin' pretty. Here are the parts we messed up. ENJOY.

Holy crap, batman!

My friend reminded me about last new years... Here's the runway show(at about 1:00), ignore the slutty chicks.

And in the VERY beginning of the clip, there is a painting of an eye up on the board...

YEAH I totally painted that. and then the drunk chicks defaced it. oh well, that's a party for ya.

19 October 2009


working on a shoot
style of working woman getting ready for her day
lingerie and business suits
high heels and coffee cups
high contrast with morning sun
get the jist?
images to come!

15 October 2009

What. is. this.

I have been getting my trip to Israel planned, therefore neglecting my other priorities. So far, there are quite a few events planned for the Middle East, one of which is Bethlehem for Christmas Eve! Apparently, very religious people flock to where the Jesus man was supposedly born. So, my friends and I are going to flock on over with a picnic and a few bottles of wine (we wouldn't want to offend anyone by drinking red..) to watch the craziness.
On the side of work, I was just in a small short film, my role being the "too perfect" girlfriend, and I have auditions all weekend. As always, I wish I was always busy with work, but a girl has got to sleep.
Until next time!

Kisses from baby ballet version of me

29 September 2009

Watch this.

Thanks to the great city of San Francisco, we have been blessed with a dramatic production taking place in some of the beautiful spots around the city. This little production is called Trauma, which aired its first episode on NBC. It is starting to look like for that 75% of San Francisco's actors are working on this show. My friend Mike :) is one of them, officially cast as a reoccurring character. Keep an eye out everybody, not only are the views of SF incredible, but you may get an eyeful of some coolness. Monday nights! NBC! Give it a gander!

Trauma IMDB

27 September 2009


My beautiful laptop is back.
If anyone is a Sex and The City viewer, like moi, then possibly you can relate to my situation. When Carrie's original laptop, with all of her work and history stored on it, died with that tiny bomb with a pissed off face on the screen, she wanted it to be fixed. A new laptop, although a kind gesture, did not help. My laptop (old, from 2005) has all of my history (post high school) on it. From letters from ex's, to pictures of random people I run into on the streets of San Francisco, and bookmarks of all of the designers I keep an eye on, my computer has everything I need. But, I thought this would be the last time I would be able to use it, seeing as it has broken down quite a few times before. So, I saved the most important things onto an external hard drive, and said a quite good bye to the rest, from pictures, to my music library, knowing that if there was something very important deleted, it would somehow find its way back to me.

I realized that saying goodbye to something doesn't mean you will never see it again. Maybe I was trying to finally be done with those memories, good, bad or indifferent, as to be able to move to the next chapter of life without having these weights holding me back. Maybe we all need to go through our memory and pluck out the important things, then let the rest fall behind.. Just a thought.

I know, blurry..
one of the images salvaged from the downfall of my laptop, a champagne toast to celebrate her graduation.

20 September 2009

hi mom

she likes to stalk me.

16 September 2009

"hi f*ckers."

I shouldn't censor myself because of the whole freedom of speech and the press, but I don't want to turn away too many readers who are into the whole "judge a blog by its title" mindset.
Here's the story about those f*ckers.
Once upon a time, there was an aspiring actor who had just began acting in independent films. Things were going well when she received an email from the director outlining the schedule for filming. Set was being put up in a city about one hour away from my city, and we were all to find our own transportation. Day for filming rolls around and she is on her way to set. She runs into the other lead, which is dandy, we catch up, get coffee and walk over to set. The director sees them and asks what they were doing there, they tell him that they were there per his instructions. He says the actors weren't to be on set today, they were only getting background shots.
Now these two fine actors are walking around, fairly annoyed about the events that have transpired, when they overhear a conversation from the crew. This conversation blasted every aspect of the misplaced actors, from their not being able to read an email, to being so divalicious that they expect people to jump at every whim of theirs. The actor then walked around the corner, smiled politely at the group of people who were just talking poorly about them, and she says, "Hi, Fuckers".
But on another note, filming is going very well, and Levi's keeps asking my agent for me, but we are all waiting for the right project. I love me some Levi's.

14 September 2009

Hello old home

I suppose I need to move back to Los Angeles.

There is a show being shot in San Francisco, and about 90% of the San Francisco actors are getting work as extras on the set. My good friend Michael (shout out!) Cineceroz ( I'm spelling that incorrectly.) is shooting as a reoccurring extra, with potential of becoming a regular cast member.

Its raining in SF. I want to be in LA right about now.

Thanks for reading.

That is all.

09 September 2009

I have no excuses

The premier of the film's trailer (of which the film I was in) came out last weekend at a fantastic night of San Francisco's finest, and a dark theater replaying the same 5 minute clip over and over, after which people would hoot, holler, and laugh because they remember the hilarious, uncomfortable, and tragically awkward events took place on set, although on the screen everything looked beautiful and professional. I cannot believe I was a part of this film, and please send positive vibes, as we are hoping to qualify for Sundance!!!

25 August 2009

Junkin' around.

The comedy show stage where my friend Matt performed. Again, there were a ton of comedians, only 5 minutes each, and the two hosts' heads were floating on the TV screens behind. A good time.

As promised, I have pictures, videos, and scars from Los Angeles. Now, I should tell you all, going to LA is not a "big deal" anymore, considering my family lives there, I used to live there, and there is only a few neighborhoods that aren't nasty. With that, we all try to get into as much trouble, with out getting killed.

My cousins band, Monster Hand (he is the drummer) had a giant concert in his studio. The turn out was great, and the music was inspiring. Hard rock is all you need.

And for the final bit of my life that you all can sneak into...

24 August 2009

Beautiful San Francisco

Although it was freezing at my apartment, just up The Embarcadero, the sun was out and the breeze was blowing. I had a goodbye dinner with my best friend who took off from SFO for 4 long months over seas.
On a happier note, my agent got me a casting for a VERY well known company, the casting was this morning, and I will HOPEFULLY hear back from the casting director within the next few days. This is the worst part of the job, as I have said before. I'll be keeping busy with running, Pilate's, and a boos. Update will come with news!

p.s. idk what all the UPPER CASING is for.. I think my brain may be frozen from the exaggerated weather.

21 August 2009


Back from Los Angeles, it was, like always, very nice. Everything is pretty, there is glitter sparkling everywhere, it's exactly like it is in the films. Except with a bit a poo flung around.
I went to a restaurant with my friends before a old buddy would be performing in a comedy show around the corner. This restaurant, Pure Luck, was not what I expected. The food was awesome, especially the Sweet Potato Fries, which are my favorite! I used to be vegetarian, so going back into the practice for an evening was nice.

The Comedy show was good, some of the comedians were pretty big in the world of funny. There were about 12 comedians, all with 5 minutes to do their thing. The set up was cool, two TV monitors behind the performers with the floating head image of the two hosts.
at the muggy beach..mid nap :)
Next time you are in LA, go to a show and eat some vegans!! ( I would have some images to show from La, but my camera phone is being a bitch. will upload later.)

16 August 2009

running. chicken. no head. you get the point.

I am leaving for Los Angeles on Tuesday, which means I need to get all of my nonsense done asap, so i can pack, upload, pack more, blah blah blah. At least I'm a light packer... anything I need I'll purchase there. I'm sure one or two of you wait until the last minute to pack also. It's not my fault, blame it on the alcohol.

In fact, blame it on Forest Whitaker.

Crash into me

Man, I loved the film Crash. If you haven't seen it yet, it's about that time! This was probably the most heart wrenching song in the film, but it also speaks volumes on its own. Hope you enjoy!


Whenever I am out of my own bed, and having trouble falling asleep, I flip on this website called Bedtime Tunes, which has a lovely mix of different kinds of sleep inducing music.
Mostly all modern, classified under genres like acoustic, or guitar, melancholy, or male vocals. Its nice to relax with out having to continue clicking through the music. Just set it and pass out.
Bedtime Tunes..

12 August 2009

Nice cold glass of King of pop, anyone?

Well, I don't have a ton of time, but I ran into this article, and thought I should share. The Man In The Mirror definitely felt like a sucker punch. Everyone has their own stories of listening to Jackson, or if they had the opportunity to meet him, so this should hopefully bring back some good memories.

View the rest HERE, at Guccilily

Out of Vogue: nipple jewellery

Out of Vogue: nipple jewellery

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I understand that there is a creative license to photography, but really?

Wish me luck!

My fingers are sore from typing all evening! I am writing up a proposal for a reality TV show, centering around my life as a "start up model" and actor, and my best friend who has graduated from college with a communications degree (and is also the root of most of my bad behavior).

Together, we get into odd situations, and always wish there was a camera there to broadcast it across the world. I think we have decided to do this partly because it is unbelievable the situations we get into. We don't ask for it, but we attract a certain type of person I suppose. So, hopefully we will be able to pitch the show, and get it picked up. Maybe we will need to do some charming along the way..

11 August 2009


I modeled for a shoot that required a ton of naughty, it was the morning routine of a powerful business woman, so there was a lot of tweed and lace, gabardine suiting, and satin panties, thigh high stockings, with white button down shirts. the director had set up an inspiration board, and this picture of Sasha P. was by far my favorite image. I kept this little image in my head while executing those sexy and powerful poses. I did some digging, and it is from the July 09 issue of Vogue Italia. Also modeling was Milla J! Here is the rest of the pictures.

10 August 2009

mmm, nap followed up with some fresh faces in modeling.

I took a bit of a rest this weekend, staying in a house a in a coastal town just south of San Francisco. It was close enough to the city that we were able to drive and start the relaxing immediately, but far enough that we weren't seeing and hanging out with the usual crowd. Alcohol was consumed, and waves were frolicked through sans clothing. The weather permitted a lot of outdoor bad behavior. But, pictures will not be posted anywhere, definitely nsfw.
While not having Internet is certainly out of the ordinary around here, it was nice to not think about work, or colleagues, of Booker's, or bloggers (but I always think of things to post here!). I came back to my pretty little laptop, and checked up on a blog that I have read for a long time, called Fashion Copious. Its model, fashion, mag covers. My favorite is the up and coming model watch, as well as the section on fashion designers and news surrounding.
That is what I checked up on, whats the first thing you do when you get back from a relaxing vacation?
i'm back and completely depleted. will update later.

08 August 2009

outta here!

I'll be off the grid this weekend. I'll be off getting into trouble with, well, everyone. you all be sure to do the same!
-Stephani Bryant

07 August 2009

how bad ass is this??

I am not really as concerned about celebrities as I could be, so I try to get my daily info from this awesome community blogging thing called Oh No They Didn't. It's pretty much everything in pop media, wrapped up with a bow. And of course, if the post says NSFW, the blogger puts in some peen most of the time. Come on, if we can't see it in front of our bosses, then there better be something fun to look at. Anyways, I just saw this crazy awesome photo shoot, model was Kerli (Estonian Singer). You can read up on the info, but damn, she makes bubblewrap look GOOD

Here is the ONTD page
Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring to you a fellow bad girl. Now, not all of us can be a man eater, or shameless, but this Ms Cam Diaz can at least show the boys that she can bring the heat... in a different way. Check it.

Plush Palate Love

If you all haven't seen this blog, you have to check it out. Plush Palate, who I have been following for a bit, always brings a new eye to fashion, interiors, anything that is worth looking at. It's beautiful, really. BUT I HAD to post up a link highlighting the Christian Dior Runway show, elegant, sexy, edgy, all wrapped with a slutty bow. Seriously, it's '80's slammed into modern day S.E.X, all knowing that its way to good for any man. Check out the link for the full rundown!

Back as a newbie.

My momma says that I was modeling when I figured out what a camera was. I did do a bit in grade school, and again in high school, but my family raised me to believe that engineering was a career, not silly jobs like modeling or fashion design. But after everything else seemed to lose my interest, I got my head shots done, and headed off into the big world of modeling.

My ORIGINAL head shots. Taken in the huge garden behind my then managers backyard.

06 August 2009

Starting off in this industry was easy, I didn't care if I failed or not. I just went for what feels right. Now that I have a pull and desire to do stay and succeed, it get hard. It's like when you are single, and are looking for a significant other, you never seem to find the right person. Then when you finally accept the fact that you will be single forever, in walks prince charming. Freaking annoying.

04 August 2009

Today was lame.

I was not productive. I added millions of people on my twitter, I just went from twat to twat, twatting everyone. At least I used protection.

and for the NOW's

--Listening to: Killing me softly covered by Sophia Hiller

And I got a thingy in my email, and there I was..

So sunny, and SO cold. I would extend into a pose and hold until the photographer yelled across the field, then shrivel up into the fetal position. Not the most flattering pants there, but those weren't even made by the company. They must have been sparing my already freezing skin from with wind chill with the yoga shorts.

03 August 2009

My friends, I bring you fun

Well, technically, some specialists bring it to you, but i put it in my blog for those of you who have not yet happened upon it. Practice, and execute. Enjoy.

Ooh La La, j'adore.

Followed up by a quick Halloween picture, the costume certainly was a hit.

French Tuesdays Gallery in San Francisco :: 944

French Tuesdays Gallery in San Francisco :: 944

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02 August 2009


I'm square. When we go to clubs, we sit in the corner drinking wine and laugh at the boys trying to pick up girls. But, every once in a while its good to go ghetto.
Have a WONDERFUL Sunday, readers!!

31 July 2009

thoughts on the situation

Blogging is new. Well, to me it is. Since I am a very secretive person, I don't usually enjoy putting my thoughts down for other people to read. But, I'm getting used to it.
I found this website, myfashionlife, which was pretty interesting to flip through. It reads on fashion, models, vintage, as well as some of the business and politics behind the industry. I shouldn't pimp out other sites, but this one is worth the look.
So after making a wonderful espresso, and confirming a dentist appointment, I am back in front of the computer planning my trip to Israel for the winter. I'm far too excited, and it will be great to spend a little money over there.

30 July 2009

Shooter shooter

Today, we were on location at a flower gallery, which meant a TON of color. I don't do color very often, so this was quite a change. One photographer wanted a very commercial look, and, lucky me, the other photographer wanted drama and darkness, almost a sophisticated and modern femme fatal type. I was wearing black denim pencil leg jeans, by Habitual, as well as an un-tucked white button down men's style shirt with a SWORD leather jacket over, which was later switched into a plain cropped vest. The make up was clean, and classic, no not a ton of retouching from the hot hot heat we were working with. California sun gleams pretty damn hard in the summer.
These were all taken by one of the photographer's assistants, the actually photographs will be through editing shortly, and then into the books! In this business, it's all about waiting for the results. Patience, because photo editing takes freaking forever.

Yes. it's that good.

Now, being a model is fun. Acting, although more challenging, is also more rewarding, but modeling...that's where the fun stuff is. It's dress up for adults. You can put on crazy, and I mean CRAZY outfits, with head pieces or body paint, all to create a new idea for yourself. When you have the right team, the shoot will get very exciting, you really start to become a new person!

But today, I'm plain old me. My best friend went into the hospital for a very minor surgery, and I was able to go in with her and her parents (my mommy and daddy #2). It was a very laid back day, from start to finish, with a bit of Thai food for a late lunch (I went for the Grilled Shrimp salad, which was spicy as all hell) at Thai Stick just south of the city.

After, some TV watching (Bad Girls Guide, with Jenny McCarthy!!), some of the ladies came over and we went to the Elephant Bar for dinner and drinks. Now, I'm not a big fan of chain restaurants, I think its ridiculous it is to have "ready made food" and slap a $20 charge on it. I would certainly rather do my own cooking. Damn chain restaurants.

But, drinks were cut short due to schedules. I needed to get back home to I could get a run in before bedtime. Shoot tomorrow, very colorful and lovely, so stay tuned for some images as they roll in.

28 July 2009

The things that wouldn't burn in the fire

...because they are too godly to be destroyed.

Now, I a very realistic shopper. I don't think it is right to spend $900 on one single pair of shoes, because you are truly paying a 50% mark up which is DIRECT profit to the designer. These shoes are MASS PRODUCED like every other heel. The reason people, women actually, pay so damn much for them is because of the lifestyle they encompass. They are teetering on torture with their 5+ inch heel height, they scream a life in which the wearer sits 98% of their work day, and to top it all off, they are not meant to be work on an everyday basis. This means, if one would have the desire, and physical ability, to wear these shoes every day, they would either have to rotate between 20 or 30 pairs each month to keep the wearing to a minimum, OR have the budget to purchase a new pair each time the heel wears through to the metal.

And with all of this messed up, morally corrupt nonsense that is designer fashions, I will still purchase these in a heartbeat, and wear them around my house, while dancing to Kiss in my underwear. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

PS. I would like these for Hanukkah

Thank you for your consideration.

26 July 2009

Happy Birthday, big man!

Friday night, it was play night for me. Dressed in very high black to the knee suede boots, I hit the town with some good friends (some new, some old) to celebrate my very good friend Robert's birthday. At one point, we were boyfriend and girlfriend, but thankfully, we were able to stay friends (really good ones at that) after the break up. And this amazing man deserved a huge birthday extravaganza, so after dinner and drinks at the factory of cheesecake, we proceeded to drink more, and dance with everyone at a local Irish bar called Molly McGee's.
At the end of the night, I had been married to a new friend, named Dante who was from Los Angeles, California. This is what happens when I drink.

high as a kite

At times, when I am waiting to hear back about a go-see or audition, I wish had some LSD or magic mushrooms so I could pass the time in a more creative way. Waiting, not knowing, is the worst part of this job. In other jobs that I have had in the past 15 years of my life, (I've been working practically since I would walk to school by myself) I was able to read my employer, to see if I was doing well, or not well. But in this industry, they judge with no look on their face, and you just don't know. So I wait.

25 July 2009

If I tell you, I'll have to kill you.

Once upon a time, there was girl who wanted to be a super hero. So, she went to as many super hero training classes as she possibly could, and began her super hero duties, with her new super hero friends and co workers.
The difficult part wasn't saving people from burning buildings, or keeping the bad guys away from the good guys, but, it was keeping her identity hidden from the people who wouldn't accept her for being a super hero. This made her life quite secretive, which she thought would be acceptable, until slowly lines started to blur.
See, this girl wanted so much to let everyone know what she had been doing for a living, but it is very easy for a super hero to 'fall from grace,' as it is said. One poorly executed save, and a super hero can be put out to pasture, not before everyone is told of their poor super skills.
For fear that she wouldn't be good enough, she decided to keep her mouth shut about her work, rather than lie about it or try to let people understand.

Modeling is made out to be a very glamorous job, which it is at certain times of course. But, like all jobs, there is work, and the reward that comes from all of the work. Now, I wish I didn't have to exercise as much as I do, or pay a trainer far too much to keep me accountable (and I have grown to despise the taste of ice cream, thank goodness), but it is a small price to pay for the fun times I have on set. And who knows, maybe I'll get to wear a cape in the near future.

oh, and this photograph was taken by Jerry Mok, a fantastic shoot in the back of a Japanese restaurant in San Mateo, California. Looks like I was channeling my evil villain side.

24 July 2009

Healthy bad food

I boiled some whole wheat thin spaghetti, while caramelizing some diced purple onion. After the onions were nice and golden (and smelling like heaven) I put in some already grilled (and refrigerated cause I'm lazy) sliced chicken breast. In goes a head of broccoli, cut into bite-sized pieces, and covered for them to steam up and soften. About two minutes into that, I throw in the drained and al dente spaghetti, and mix it all together. Serve with some Gruyere cheese, along with The Dreamers, starring the dreamy Michael Pitt and the beautiful late 1960's and France. What could be better? Ah, yes, a glass of wine. Maybe next time.

23 July 2009

Little did I know

Julia Stegner is a very well known model, but I just came to realize that she joins the ranks along with the much publicized Angelina Jolie as a Goodwill Ambassador for the UNHCR. I suppose they scout beautiful women with great public speaking skills with a will to change for this role.
I had a dream last night that my Booker had emailed me two new go sees, once at 7pm and another that had been earlier in the day. And In my dream it was 6pm already (and I knew I wasn't going to get the 7pm job).

Now let me say, I have never missed or have even been late to a go see or audition. I like being early so I can collect myself, and not be rushed into anything. Because travel into the city for me takes about 40 minutes, I can rush my ass off until I get into my car, then there is nothing left to be done. No more make up, no more changing clothes, it is what it is.

Last week, that is how I felt when I was on my way up to a couple go sees. One was for a Levi's Campaign (the 3rd time I have been asked back for them) and the other for a role in a film. BUT, I knew I wasn't going to get this jobs either, not because I was running late, but more of the fact that I felt sloppy. I hadn't been taking care of my body (again, I know), and I hadn't prepared myself. So as much as I did my best on the day, because I had allowed my performance to go unrehearsed, I sabotaged my own work.

Now, I am paranoid that I missed work, and feel the need to check my email every ten minutes. (And that paid off, more or less, the Men's Divis. Agent sent out a agency wide email asking for models that can skate board, Yes I can! but tricks? Nope, I can make it look pretty when I fall hard though. Does that count?)


A few weeks ago my friend had 5 models, including myself, shoot some head shots, which I imagine will be the advertising for DermaQuests new makeup line, as well as (my favorite part) some on camera "makeup tutorials". My amazing mua, Coleen, had the topic of Natural Blush, which is nice for me because my freckles usually take over my face. Coleen had the tough part, 5 minutes of speaking, with out swearing mind you, in a straight forward, effective manner is difficult if you aren't used to being in front of the lens. After a few takes, she got it down wonderfully, and we had a few laughs for the blooper reel as well. I was lucky enough to find some time to snap a few pictures of some of the other beautiful models who were shooting along side of me.

Richard Seagraves, one of my favorite photographers and friendliest person to work with. That must be my friend who got me into this shoot Katharina, or Nora to the left.

This model had the shakes, so we all had to "shake it out" and try to get the nerves out. Her pictures were fantastic.

I tried to flirt with all of the camera crew...Besides Richard, they were the only ones on set with testosterone! What's a girl to do?

This isn't a snap of Coleen and me, but I have to share this little story. She needed to wear a small clip on mike under her blouse, and because it kept falling, the crew had to look down her top every few minutes to 'readjust'. We got a few jokes in about the real reason they were looking. She had a good rack, after all, what's a boy to do?

Day one.

At nearly 6 am, I still haven't gone to sleep. I would love to say that I have been working, jet setting around the globe, but the fact is, I had to clean my bedroom. From vacuuming the floors, to going through the closet and sorting items into 'throw away' and 'goodwill' boxes, I spent my night hours ridding my life of clutter. Hopefully, the physical clutter was some sort of cathartic gateway for the more, lets say, non physical tolls that have been impending.

Now, I will be honest, less than a year ago, there is no way I would have taken the idea of being a professional model seriously. In June of 2008, I was on my way to Isiolo, Kenya from spending my entire life in the US (I did go to Mexico and Canada though). Like most freshly 21 year olds, I had to get out of the box that I had made myself, and for me that was working for a health clinic. I wish I could say that it was the need to help other people, but the decision to go had a lot to do with wasting my physical body. I wasn't living a healthy life, or what I thought was healthy anyways. I ate what I wanted, smoked, drank a bit much, I wasted money that I spent a long time earning and saving. I started talking to people that I normally didn't talk to, and researching some organizations, watching documentaries, and writing people who were, and still are trying to help people who have no means of helping themselves. I have been spoiling myself, when there are people who don't have the chance to blow there money in Las Vegas, or smoke a pack of cigarettes in two days. Some people want to succeed, and I wanted to "give them a Steph" to help them do it. So, after contacting one of the women who ran Mamahope.org, I got a meeting.

Then comes early October 2008. The meeting. I was nervous, but just in the back of my mind was the thought of "if this doesn't fly, then do whatever makes you happy". I'm sitting at the restaurant, 15 minutes early, I figure she'll be at least 5 minutes late because of the traffic I just missed. 15 minutes into the supposed meeting time, still no show. 30 minutes, still sipping on my now room temperature Pepsi, and chatting up an older grampa looking type next to me. I finally get a call from the woman, she JUST left the office. A thought passed through my head that this meeting is already in the crapper. She gets there, strokes my ego of being young, innocent and full of naive life, then pulls out all the stops. I am too young, need to go out of the country more, and every one there hates white women. I put on a smiley face until she leaves, the I realize I had just gotten shot down while pleading for the thing I have had my heart set on.
Replaying the conversation in my mind, I realized that every time she said no, I had a valid and respectful rebuttal that should have made her say yes. I had backers, I know people in Kenya, I mean, no I won't get a body guard in case people really do hate white 21 year olds.

My friend, who was managing models at the time, finds me after that meeting of torture, and says, "Look, how about you try a few modeling gigs, and see how it goes. If its fun, keep going, if not, then you can move on to the next thing." So I did. And here I am. In January, I gave myself 6 months to get signed. In March, I got a call from City Model Management, by April the papers were signed.

Now, its the hard part. But we can pick up that story later on.